15 Great Battles described in One Sentence

Battle of Cannae: If mass slaughter was an art, this would be a Van Gogh.

Siege of Alesia: Freaking campers!

Battle of Marathon: What if we invented a race out of the battle?

Battle of Tours: Guys, can you please agree on the numbers?

Battle if Kadesh: Let’s try this new thing called Peace Treaty.

Kalinga War: I won, but at what cost.

Battle of Catalaunian: Tell me about it...

Sicilian Expedition: Cavalry is useless, but I changed my mind after all!

Red Cliffs: And their kid is why you never, EVER, botch a military campaign.

Battle of Muye: Would you guys stop defecting? I’m only enslaving you!

Battle of Thermopylae: They got us 10 to 1? I like those simple odds.

Battle of Hastings: Look, the Normans are running away, we must have won!

Battle of Okehazama: Thermopylae but the smaller side won.

Battle of Carrhae: Apparently, ignoring the advice of your ally living in the region of the battlefield is a terrible idea.

The Nika Riot: Justinian almost got overthrown over a ... Chariot Race!?